nitusthots

Let It Go......!!!!!!

2011-04-21T03:49:00.000-07:00

A beautiful writing given to me by a friend and am told its a passage based on Rev.21:5.I read it several times and thought this deserves a place on Nitusthots so that my friends can also read and appreciate these meaningful wordings.

" If you are holding to something that does not belong to you, and was never intended for you life........then you need to let it go.

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains......let it go.

If some one cannot treat you right , love you back and see your worth.....let it go.

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge........let it go.

If you have bad attitude, then ......let it go.

If you keep judging others to make yourself look better......let it go.

If you are stuck in the past, then........let it go.

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship, then.....let it go.

If you keep trying to help someone who will not help himself,then.....let it go.

If there is a particular situation that you have been so used to handling yourself and God is saying take your hands off it, then you need to........let it go.

Let the past be past,forget the former things,God is trying to do a new thing."

A Surprise Call.......!!!!!

2010-11-11T05:20:00.000-08:00

The day started on a usual note for Maria.....5.10am the alarm goes.....a quick walk around her area....her first morning cup of tea that she so much looks forward to....a time that she spends alone.....preparing herself for a hectic day ahead....sometimes going back in time recalling those happy moments and at times also remembering some terrible memories that she brushes off in a hurry.....she sits in her balcony looking up towards the sky......would it be a sunny day ???? would it rain????.....all those thoughts in her alloted ten minutes and then its all over. The morning rush starts.....and by evening back home exhausted !!!! But last evening ended on a different note.....the ring of her cell phone brought her the biggest surprise.....it was a friend that she lost touch with.....they talked and she was actually touched when he took out his diary and read out what he wrote about her in the past months.....she was surprised to see that he thought her worthy enough to write about her and give her space in his diary.....or even remembered her in those long past months.....and as they keep the phone,promised to keep in touch now....she truely beleives in the saying that its not important how many waves are there in the sea.....what is important is how many waves touches the shore.....
And I believe in this too....we can have many friends in our life time......what is important....is how many of them touches your heart....!!!!! I thank all my dear friends who have stood by me and have made a difference in my life.

Emotionally Raped......!!!!!

2010-10-31T09:05:00.000-07:00

Stealing a peep into Ananya's Diary.....

Ananya writes....

" The death of my soulmate....."

By death here I dont mean the literal meaning of death where a person stops breathing......I mean when a person whom you consider closer than your shadow is suddenly erased off from your life......for some reason that at the end of the day you are still reeling under the impact of it and wondering how and when did that bond just snap ???.....and the emotional blow that hits you , is may be worse than the nuclear bombs that hits humanity.An emotional turmoil that goes on in your mind.....where the nights seems endless....may be never to see day break again and a ghastly feeling in your gut that from now on you will be walking with out your shadow following you.....you suddenly find yourself naked and vunerable to the outside world......The stab at the back was so severe , that the soul has been wounded forever.... will it ever heal ?????
Ananya stands on the sea shore, recalling the events of the past year....and as she watches the big wave snatch away her soul mate forever from her.....not once did her mate looked back at her.....she stood alone speechless.....helpless....and lost......emotions all drained.....her soulmate died forever !!!!

Religion Debated.....!!!!!!

2010-05-05T10:11:00.000-07:00

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Time and again people have debated on the issues of religion and now with the print and electronic media , we come to know more of the opinions of a cross section of people , both who have done extensive studies on the subject and also from the common crowd.
I obviously fall in the common people category....my thoughts and my views are simple and most ordinary. So recently when I was at a gathering, my colleagues were discussing everything from the Bharat Bandhs to the fast changing weather of Shillong to the recently concluded IPL and finally to the more recent NDTV program me by Barkha Dutt on Muslims. It didn't take long for the discussion which started on a casual manner to turn more personal....the " I-I....MY-MY " types. Verses from the Holy books were quoted and unquoted and I became a silent listener, till one of them asked my opinion. What could I say ??? How could I say that religion for me is humanity, that if I wanted to feel the presence of God and if I were to follow the popular belief that to pray we had to go to the holy shrines, I could walk into any temple or church or for that matter to a mosque if i was allowed to be with Him. Personally I absolutely believe and if I am allowed to quote here from a movie that there are only two types of people in this world , the good and the bad. Yes I believe in this very strongly. I believe that the world has two ends of everything....good people and the bad people....positive and negative.....right and the wrong.....You believe in the supreme power in what ever form you imagine Him in or you don't believe in Him at all.I either give 100% to you or I don't at all....I either do my work sincerely or if I don't feel like working today I take a day off.Everything for me is on either end of the pole....just like the sun sign I belong to....both the fishes facing to both extremes.
So religion for me is just a pathway to reach out to Him. I don't care much on how He looks or what His followers wears. I am deeply spiritual in my own way. I have equal respect for my Jew brother as much as I have for my Christian sister. I would wish Ed Mubarak to my Hindu friend and a Happy Diwali to my Muslim friend and I have great friends who would wish me back too.So am not able to understand the complexities of the word "Religion". I ask myself we all believe in One God, then why this fight about how I should seek Him ???? After a heated discussion I was once asked "what did your God do for you ????" Goodness what is your God and my God???? I was much younger then,just out of school. I didn't have the maturity to take such a question in a diplomatic way. So I came home and cried and thought how dare some one asks me a question like that??? Today I would have laughed at the same question because today I stand more firm in my belief and I know He is my Potter while I am the clay in His Hand. He molded me and this is where I stand today.
My colleague snap me off my thoughts and I just look at them and say nothing. I say goodnight and take my leave along with my views.

( This post is dedicated to a friend of mine whom I had met 3 yrs ago on this day whom I believe is the one person who would understand me on this . )

A Page From A Diary.......!!!!!!

2010-03-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

Dated Forever...... My days with Pooh !!!!

Pooh and I met by chance....one of those things in life that just happens with no explanations. You could call it destiny. Our friendship initially saw all the highs and all the lows ......and many a times it lay threatened on the brink of a breakdown following a stormy session of arguement. But we would come out of it....and on my part emerge even stronger with the bond growing even deeper.....and before long Pooh became an inseparable part of me and my life.....a friend sent in by God himself.....the one person I had always thirst for and so needed. I share the most amazing connectivity......call it a mental connection. I could hear....see....smell....touch.....and feel my friend even if thousands of miles stretch in between us. My day started and ended with Pooh.....my world was Pooh....my dreams were of Pooh. Such was my passion, loyalty and dedication involved in our friendship. We would laugh, cry , fight and then make up again. Days rolled out into months and months into years. I was happy in my small world and wanted nothing more. The more I gave in the friendship....the less it was I thought.....I needed to give more. It was the best phase of my life.....for I had a friend by my side, standing with me.....ONLY FOR ME. Then one day, a dark cloud , suddenly appeared on a beautiful bright blue sky.....threatening a down pour. I could feel the ground slipping from under my feet as I struggled to stand on my shaky legs ....tears rolled down my cheek.......I could see the dark cloud embracing Pooh.
As I stood and watched .....I was left with only one question in my mind ......What did I do to deserve this ???????

Broken Fragments.....!!!!!!

2010-03-16T09:35:00.000-07:00

The phone rang and the most ordinary day, turned an extra-ordinary one for her. She heard the voice , on the other end saying " I am here ! ". Her legs gave way . Was it really true ?!!!! Well it was and the next 24 hrs passed away faster then the blink of her eye lashes. So much to say.....so much to talk about.........but time was too short. Before long, it was time to part. As she stood waving a good bye, she felt a part of her lost forever.......... tears came down with out a warning........ she sat down to pick up the broken fragments of her heart.......!!!!!!

Friendship Defined......!!!!!

2010-01-13T06:30:00.000-08:00

Friendship so beautifully defined ,I had to share it here, because its what I believe in........

If I happen to show up on your door step crying
Would you care ?
If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something happened
Would you come ?
If I had one day left, to live my life
Would you be part of that last day ?
If I needed a shoulder to cry on
would you give me yours?
Do you know what is the relationship in between your two eyes?
They blink together, they move together, they cry together, they see things together and they sleep together
But they never see each other.
That is what friendship is....!!!!!
Life would be lonely without Friends.......!!!!!

Broken Glass......!!!!!!

2009-12-22T05:34:00.000-08:00

I was looking at this glass piece and thought what a waste..... how ever hard you try to mend it........nothing will work , unless you change it........the crack remains forever. Though fragile , it can also be protective in more ways than one...... and people have always compared a human relationship with that of a glass ........and rightly so........because just as we need to handle a glass with care , so also we need to handle a relationship.....(how ever way you name it)........with utmost care. Ever since man has lived in society , he has learnt to build up relations with fellow beings ........some personal.....some not but never the less , a relation or a connection of some sort. In our life time , we get to meet many people, some come and go and yet some touch your lives in a way that you don't have a reason to explain why and how did it happen.......it just happens and before long you start thinking its one of the connections you just cannot do without.......and yes its connection like these that needs to be nurtured with love and care because once its broken.......it can be mended but the crack remains forever. I treasure my connection.....because many a times it has shown me light when there was darkness........and I thank Him for being so generous. !!!!

Time......!!!!!

2009-11-07T08:44:00.000-08:00

The question What is Time ??? has been debated for many generations. Science has its own definition in physics but philosophically , many argue that time is not a reality but a concept and may be an illusion.
I have often wondered too what could it really be. We wear it in our hands and yet we cannot hold it as it passes by and slowly slips away into eternity......and its amazing that as we look at the clock, the eternity is actually determined by the movements of the hour and second hands. Each second would turn into minutes .......and each minute would turn into hours .....finally into weeks , months and years. A four letter word that rules mankind and human civilization.....generation after generation......over which no one has control or can have a say . For a next door person like me .......I could easily classify time into good times and bad times..... times of anticipation......times of anguish...... time as a healer......times when I wished the clock would stop because I did not want those beautiful moments to end.......and again times when I wished the hands on my wrist watch would gallop away .....!!!! People would say , her/his time is good or bad meaning astrologically unfavourable........but then isn't that God's way of teaching us all the experiences of life, from which we could emerge a much more wiser and better human.????? I, like most of us, have often stood the test of time......and yes I have tried to come out from it stronger and may be also try to evolve into a better human......but one thing I firmly believe in, is you cannot stop time......what is to happen would happen any way...... So what do we do???? Flow with time......and let time decide for us.????

Tears.......!!!!!!

2009-10-14T19:55:00.000-07:00

One aspect of humans way of expressing emotions is through tears.......we see tears of joy and tears of sorrow, we see loud tears and silent tears. But for what ever reason our eyes fills up and we shed a tear, one thing is for sure ...its a great stress buster.
I am often accused of crying at the drop of a hat and shamefully ( if you can say that ) I agree whole heartedly. Not that I make a show of it, but people close to me would instantly know I have just shed a bucket and come. But there has been instances in my life where I have not been able to shed a tear and believe me I have not been able to recover either from such situations. I am not been able to find an answer as to why it happens to a person like me who would otherwise have a tap running. After so many months, when I recall them , I still feel the hurt as much......the wound never heals.
So folks, its good to cry and let out your emotions because tears can wash over any bad feelings, any hurt and even make you a born again..........and start over a new leaf.
What could have been more beautifully explained than, by Alfred Lord Tennyson in his poem " Home they brought her warrior dead " which I would like to share......its one of my favorite poems......

Home they brought her warrior dead:
She nor swooned, nor uttered cry:
All her maidens, watching, said,
She must weep or she will die.

Then they praised him, soft and low,
Called him worthy to be loved,
Truest friend and noblest foe;

Rose a nurse of Seventy years
Set her child upon her knee
Like summer tempest came her tears
Oh my child I live for thee.

Darkness .....!!!!!

2009-08-22T07:34:00.001-07:00

While the rest of the house sleeps......she was standing alone in the balcony of her house......in the dark silent night.....with only the moon far away giving her company and as she looks up she feels the moon shine on her face......the cool gentle breeze whisper in her ears.......she listens ....may be its that one voice that she longs to hear......when suddenly she felt that she heard that ever so familiar laugh....she turns around......was someone here ???? She finds no one. A cold shiver runs down her spine. She did hear that laugh...she really did !!!! she was telling her self. She ran to look out of the balcony and in the darkness she thought she saw the familiar figure walking away into the darkness of the night.She called....the figure turned .....smiled at her......waved ......and made a sign......." Till we meet again ........".
She suddenly woke up and found herself wet with her sweat....... she sat up and wondered .......was that a dream????? It could not have been. It was too real!!!!

Missing......!!!!!

2009-08-20T07:02:00.000-07:00

I read these lines several times before in a book I had long time back.....but its only now do I understand its true and beautiful meaning and can feel it as much......so thought of sharing it in my space here with all my friends who might have missed someone.......sometime in their life time.

"I DROPPED A TEAR IN THE OCEAN.....
THE DAY YOU FIND IT......
SHALL BE THE DAY ........
I WILL STOP MISSING YOU......" (author unknown)

" SOMETIMES , WHEN ONE PERSON IS MISSING , THE WHOLE WORLD SEEMS DEPOPULATED ".......( Alfonse de Lamartine. )

" THEY SAY WHEN YOU ARE MISSING SOMEONE,
THE OTHER IS PROBABLY FEELING THE SAME.
BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S POSSIBLE
FOR YOU TO MISS ME
AS MUCH AS I AM MISSING YOU....." ( anonymous )

" HAPPY AND EXCITED
I SAILED MY BOAT IN THE SEA OF LIFE.
SUDDENLY ENDLESS ANXIETIES BEGAN TO TOSS MY BOAT
AND SEIZE MY COURAGE.
I FELT SO SAD AND LONELY
AND SILENT TEARS ROLLED DOWN MY CHEEKS.
FOR I MISS YOU......."

The Balcony View.......!!!!!

2009-07-20T07:59:00.000-07:00

This was the look of the sky this evening from my balcony.......I was having tea......this time alone......looking out towards the horizon .......my thoughts far away.......recollecting......missing.....longing......wishing for the clock to turn back its hands and give me back those precious moments.......it was one of the most beautiful time I ever had.....moments that are etched on my mind forever........moments that i would never need to share with any one else. They belonged to us......rightfully. I can only say thankyou.

The Weekend.......

2009-06-27T09:03:00.000-07:00

It was a weekend.....people at work decided to take a break from the busy monotonous life.....an outing majority voted....and majority won.....I sat in the corner and listened to everyone getting excited about the trip to this place i have not heard of.....i was not even interested to go but again i didn't want to be the stick in the mud......so reluctantly i gave my share to the collection and on a Saturday afternoon i left, to join the others who had already gone off ahead.....As the bus came closer to the destination, i was awestruck with the beauty of the place......the quietness, the landscape, and the fog which hugged me in its gentle embrace......i was mesmerised !!!! " Is this God's creation too ? " I asked my self.......i sat alone on the road side drinking in the beauty around me......and wishing that i had Him here today....beside me......sharing this beautiful place.......and feel the mist around us.....i could imagine how the mist would have settled on His hair......and i would brush it off with my hand......i wish He was here with me today sitting by my side talking in silence......i shivered ....it was a little chilly.....i wished ,.... and i wished so many things and the next thing i just knew what i had to do....i picked up my cell phone and put a call through.....i simply needed to have that Voice with me here tonight......i heard the group yelling out for me.......my time alone ended.......i had to go.....i slowly got up and walked back.....my evening reverie had ended!!!! All that was left of the weekend trip are photographs with a lot of lonely memories.......years later i recall them with fondness.

The " Bouquet "........

2009-05-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

The day dawned.......she felt something wonderful would happen today, she didn't know why she had this feeling and what it meant....except for the fact that it was her day off from work. The day started as usual.....the morning chores......the send offs.....and then the house was quiet. She sat in her favorite corner in the balcony, coffee mug in her hand and as she looked across the horizon, she recalled those wonderful days with fond memories. Of late , this has been happening very often. The phone ringing behind woke her from her reverie and once again , it was back to the present. A lot of matters to pay attention to......no more moments to spare for herself.

The day passed off into an evening and yet she waited with anticipation......may be nothing would happen but the feeling lingered on.......and as dusk fell around her, the doorbell rang. There stood the delivery boy with a bouquet of roses.......freshly plucked from the garden....the most beautiful roses as if specially picked.......she stared at the bouquet through misty eyes ....speechless.....and thought "He bothered to send this." She watched the delivery boy leave and managed to mumble a thank you. The moment was etched on her mind forever and held close to her heart ever since.

"Grandma, where are you ".....she heard her grandchild saying. She quickly closed the box, and locked her cupboard. Over the years, the dried up roses still holds a special place........."

Footprints.......

2009-03-28T06:30:00.000-07:00

"We come into the world with no identity.......but we leave with footprints behind us "

When we come into this world , our only introduction is a male or a female baby......born into a family where we are later given names, and taught to call mother and father. We grow up loving them , respecting them. We slowly learn of different relations that the society have so aptly given names, brother , sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and as we grow up friends, spouse......well the list goes on. We are taught and moulded by our teachers in school. The values and principles are imbibed in our young minds right from that time. As we grow older, we only learn to polish them through life's experience and as we move through the different seasons of life , we cross many miles and gather many stones thus turning them each into a milestone.......and then a day comes when the journey ends. What we leave behind are only memories and footprints of our deeds done in our life time.......

Waves........

2009-02-18T17:53:00.000-08:00

As I sit on the beach , I watch the waves, big and small .......rise and fall tirelessly.......some reaching the shore, some not touching at all. And it reminded me how closely related it is with life.Our life is a vast sea....our heart is the sea shore and our friends are like the waves that come up in our lifes. It does not matter how many waves rise in the sea........what matters is how many of them touches the sea shore......I treasure all the waves that have touched my sea shore and couldn't thank God enough for one big wave that has swept me over.....the reason why I am here today.

Mystical Sea.......

2009-02-15T17:54:00.000-08:00

I always say that among all God' creation, I love most is the the Sea . I love its multiple character

.....I find it gentle, I find it rough ......not withstanding any thing when its angry.......I find it passionate , I find it mystical......I find it magical. I love to feel its waves come and caress my feet, I love to anticipate and see what the waves bring with it , each time it touches the shore. I love the smell of the sea breeze......I love to feel it as it sweeps over my body and mind. I love the sound of it as it rings in my ears. And I am always in awe of its vastness, often wondering what a big storage house it is. By the way do mermaids exists???? I am a fish and I belong to the water sign . Does it make me a mermaid ???? Hmmm!!! wondering....?

The Train........

2009-02-11T01:24:00.000-08:00

A phone ringing.... broke the silence of the room......and also woke me up from my day dreams.The caller.....My Friend. Was told that the train just entered the station.....Little did i know that the train I heard passing just now was the same train ......but near as we were, we could not meet. Very rightfully said .....it was the nearest you could get!!! Call it destiny or may be the time was not right. I stood in the balcony as I heard the whistle blow......the train was slowly moving out of the station and I silently bid you Good Bye as I wipe away the mist in my eyes.

A 2008 Round Up........

2009-01-06T05:08:00.000-08:00

2008 ended sooner than i realized.....and today as i sit recalling the days gone by ....i realized it has been a year where i have learnt a lot ...both at work and in personal life.......At work i faced a challenge that i really didn't know how i will be tackling it. One fine morning i go to the hospital ( my old work place -Dawki) and i suddenly hear both my senior colleagues were being transfered out......and i was left to take charge over the whole PHC area. Things happened so fast the before i knew i was briefed about the work , papers were being signed and taking over charge was done.....my colleauges were given their Send Off party and i had four sub centres, 19 villages, 15 field staff, 17 hospital staff, a pile of file work, a number of health programmes , some already started , some which i had to conduct..... and with no knowledge what so ever of running a Health Centre. All i knew was i had studied dentistry.....not how to run a PHC . I had no time to sit and brood over the happenings around me ......i needed to act and i needed to act fast. My other dentist friends told me just take leave and come home since it was not a job of a dentist to run a PHC......easier said than done but how could I do that ??? My conscience would not allow me . I had to do it ....at least try to do . Well i did. i sat down to do some home work first and by the end of the month i at least knew where i stood......and then slowly the programmes started ......the pulse polio prog. , the malarial spray prog, RKS, etc. and before i knew days passed into weeks .....weeks rolled into months and after about 8mths i had a new releiver who came and joined me and i handed over charge of the PHC happily to the new doctor. Nooo!!! i don't miss it nor do i want to be in his shoes. Am just happy taking care of the 32 little pearls. But it had given me a satisfaction that i atleast didn't turn away from my resposiblities and no doubt , i did learn a lot in those few months.It was a good experience.
Than came the biggest tragedy of my life......my father suffered a second stroke and this time never to recover .......it was the worst two months.....a period where i had to take some crucial decisions.....a time when the doctors told me the harsh truth......as they kept on reminding me " you are a doctor too ......you should understand and know the fact." Of course i am a doctor but here it was a daughter they were telling all those facts about and it was about her father. Not easy to digest ......inspite of knowing everything. My father finally left us. Though i was prepared mentally knowing his condition, he went when i was least expecting .......but he went in peace which made me happy for him. But his death hit me slowly when all the relatives left and things were quiet.......and till today i don't think i could come in terms with his death...... and it was with the loss of my father i started my very first blog......"Life is a Journey."
2008 also brought me in touch with my old school and college friends. It was lovely since they made an effort to come all the way to Shillong to meet me. I was touched. For few seconds we were like loss for words and silence said it all.
We parted with a promise to keep up with all the news specially now with the net, i suppose it would be much easier.
2008 was a year of friends. Especially after i started blogging......i have come to know many wonderful people. And today am reminded of a lovely saying ......." there are no strangers in this world .......only friends ready to be met "
And finally as the year was ending, i get my transfer order and before 2008 ended i joined my new place of work .....well things did happen last year.......some good ...some not so good ......but all is well that ends well!!!
Looking forward for a fruitful 2009. Keep Smiling !!!!

Closing of a Chapter........

2008-12-17T04:10:00.001-08:00

After a tearful farewell in Dawki , i have joined in my new hospital and finally my things were shifted and arrived home. And today i recall my first day when i had gone to Dawki.....a fresh graduate , updated with the latest in dentistry, very enthusiastic and looking forward to my job , all eager to put to practice what ever i had mastered in college.....the best part was that here i would be my own boss. No more running over to the head of the department for every small permission. I could not wait to start off. I was given a quater and so brought my stuff what ever i would need to turn that little cold whitewashed 3 roomed place into a livible one. After all this was going to be my home for the next , God knows , how many years . And i did turn it into a very cozy home. I had a constant flow of visitors......my friends would come from far and near and spent a weekend......and would enjoy like no body's business. By the end of their stay , they would all leave recharged......lol. In the hospital , i started seeing patients and i remember they could not understand my language....so i thought , if i had to reach out to them , i needed to learn their local language......and i did . My teachers were all the kids in the area. I would spent hours with them and thats how i picked up the language and by the end of 6mths i could converse well enough with the patients. It was my first stay in a rural area.....i started observing their lifestyle.....their occupation.....their habits......well no where did dentistry figure in their life. How was i going to talk to them about cosmetic dentistry when some of them have never used a toothbrush in their lives. I suddenly realized i had a big challenge in front of me ......so all the classroom talks took a back seat. I had to get to the root problem first....create an awareness among them.,introduce them to dentistry. The hospital had many programmes. I got involved in them and when ever we had a health camp i saw to it that i could speak something to crowd about teeth.This paid off in a big way. But apart from that , I learnt a lot about rural life.....saw their hardships....saw the many elections where the candidate comes and makes promises and then forgotten for the next 5 yrs.I saw the simplicity of the people , their kindness, their trust on me, their warmness....all that they have given to me in the past years. I am grateful to each one of them. Today as i stand and bid them good bye , i could only say a thankyou to them.
A chapter has closed in my life........and whenever i open this page i would always recall my days here with fond memories.

Keep Me Safe Please.......

2008-12-06T06:49:00.000-08:00

The Candle March today brought back fresh memories of that fateful night when the nightmare started. An sms was all that was needed to rob our sleep....Terror has struck Mumbai. And with it came back more memories.......the delhi blasts ....the gauhati blasts all in the past consecutive months....... the memory of the nine year old in delhi .......the children who lost their parents in gauhati...... the father who could never get out of the driver's seat.....the last phone call of a loved one still haunts us......well the list goes on.....what is the future???......when will the blame game stop?????...... what answer can we give to this young child when he asks why do we light candles here...... who are those people???......why do they hate us ????......and so many endless questions that arises in his little mind. And will we ever we able to give him any surety when he looks up to you and says with all innocence and hope "Keep me safe please ". Lets all join hands and work for a better future.....a safer future......a brighter future for the children of tomorrow.

The Box of Chocolates.......

2008-11-19T08:33:00.000-08:00

One day a parcel arrived out of the blue and when I opened , it was a box of chocolates sent by my best friend specially for my son and I should admit that i did have a cub's share if not a lion's. It was a beautiful packet and i din't have the heart to throw the empty packet so i decided to add to my collection.....my own museum collection which goes back to my childhood days......i have all sorts of souveniers in it. What struck me most about the box was that it contained four little boxes which looked liked the trinklet box i have to keep my stuffs but here it contained far more precious gems . As i opened each of the small boxes , with the chocolates overflowed a lot of care , love , understanding and thoughtfulness. It was a priceless gift and words simply fall short when I want to say a thankyou.....but nevertheless here is a big THANKYOU....

Diwali.....The festival of lights.

2008-10-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite festival.....Diwali .......the festival of lights. And here i often remember a hymn we learnt in school.......It was written by Sri Rabindranath Tagore and it goes something like this........."amidst your numberless stars.....let me place my own little lamp.....In the dance of your festival of lights ......My heart will throb and my life will be one with your smile....."!
I wish we could burn more candles in our everyday life and spread the spirit of brotherhood among our selves . Lets hope the light of our lamp enlighten us in every way and we do away with all the walls that we built around us built bridges instead. Let each lamp that we place in our homes signify the smile that we want to bring on every smileless face we see around us.And lets not wait for the next diwali to light another lamp.

A Pledge of a Friend.........taken from a diary

2008-10-19T06:29:00.000-07:00

"I met you as a stranger

took you as a friend

hope we meet in paradise

where friendship never ends......"

"These are a few lines that often comes to my mind when i think of you my friend......we met by chance.......and the day i extended my hand of friendship to you......i had also pledged that i would try to be a good friend to you......i offer a frienship where i don't judge you .......but i try to see from your point of view......where after a fight we could still hold our hands and smile into each other......where in spite of no time we created time...... where other practicalities of life will never effect the genuinity of our friendship.....where in spite of the distance between us .........it could only take a second to reach when we were needed......where everything comes with an unconditional tag......where many a questions had no answers.......inspite of the fact that i know where i stand in your scale of friendship . I write this in my diary today and the day when i am gone, my dear friend, please know you meant a great deal to me. Thankyou for walking into my life...... I have tried to be a good friend to you and for all the times that i have failed you ....may i be forgiven."

This was a confession of a friend in his diary.........Well friendship sure is a very powerful relationship.....and i beleive in this institution very strongly because a friend is a gift from God and lucky are those who find a good friend in this fast paced world. A friend who knows you through and through and loves you all the same......unconditionally.

Freedom.....A bleak future

2008-10-07T05:56:00.000-07:00

Just as we were recovering from the series of bomb blasts that shook the capital city and our country on the whole .....another went off and shook Tripura and the whole north eastern region .....and with it came the red alert all over the region. Suddenly the festive moods of the people fizzled off and even the coming of Goddess Durga could not lift up the spirit of the people in Shillong. Adding to it the rains were pouring non stop. People are suddenly apprehensive to hang around in crowded places......late nights were suddenly thought twice......young boys and girls were given dead lines to be home....the men in uniform were extra vigilant and in doing their duty were also constantly reminding the general public that all is not well in and around us.
I was in the capital on the 27th of sept. when another bomb blast shook the city where among the many , a young boy of 9 yrs lost his life.And I asked myself "did the young lad know that today would be the last day of his life when he got up in the morning......did he know that the hugg that he was getting from his mother was the last one.....did he know that he was having his last meal.....did he know that he was sleeping in his bed for the last time ......??????" There were no answers. what about all those people who have lost their loved ones ???? Its heart breaking when in a country like ours where Independence Day is celebrated with such pomp and show , that we are actually not free to even breathe the morning fresh air without thinking what the day has in store for us......as my friend rightfully said " when we get up in the train we don't know whether we will reach the destination?????" Sad !!!! How long will we be chained like this by our thoughts and fears?????? when will we walk with our head held high ???? When will we break free from all the narrow domestic walls that we built around us ??? When will we start judging a man for what he is ....and not by his caste, creed or relegion???? Is it fair to bring up our children in a world where we are plagued with such hipocrisy and where his life is so uncertain...????? And most important of all, will he know the true meaning of freedom which now looks so bleak.....???? Its a long road to freedom....a winding steep and high.......but when you walk in love with the wind on your wings and cover the earth with the song you sing .......the miles fly by...... (thats a little song that i learnt back in school).....and today i fully understand its meaning ......will our children.....the future of tomorrow..... get to cross all the miles and the stones that comes on their way and turn them into MILESTONES.....?????

The Un-breakable Bond......

2008-09-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

From all the pictures i took recently this is my favorite. I have always thought that a child feeding on his mother is the most beautiful thing in this world . The mother-child bond is a bond that no law can break.....and this is one law that is universal irrespective of caste,creed,relegion.
I always love to look at the child ... to see the contentment ....the security.....the love ......the joy.....that he feels oblivious to his surroundings......Sometimes its really amazing when you think how our Creator thought and planned the laws of nature....

My Hawker Brother......

2008-08-14T08:58:00.000-07:00

As i entered my colony , a neighbouring aunty called and told me , " hey guess who came today ?" I asked , who ? "Your long lost brother". I was baffled. My"long lost brother ?" . I asked her again to be double sure I heard right. Any way i reached home and there i was standing in front of a person whom i haven't met for some 27 odd years and if i din't get the news beforehand, i would have not recognised him ....I stood there shocked and numbed with emotions as the memories of the by gone years came rushing in front of me in flash backs...... was this the same person who years ago had taken me as his little sister and whom i adored like my big brother.....???? . I looked at him and my eyes told me time has not been kind to him.......it had taken a toll on him which was clearly visible on his face. Overcoming the shock , we got down to catch up with what has been happening in our lives. I came to know he lost both his parents as soon as they left shillong thus leaving him an orphan at a very young age. With no one really to take care of him he had to fend for himself and thus survived those initial years doing odd jobs......studies by now all forgotten. Finally with what ever little money he could save ,decided to enter the hawkery trade and then life was a little better in the sense that he now knew where his next meal would come from. As the years rolled by , he got married and had two children. Both doing well in studies . Dada as i fondly call him told me that his daughter wants to study medicine.Son was doing his last year in college before he becomes a commerse graduate. I sat there listening to his stories as he told me first hand the life of a hawker. He was doing remarkably well in his chosen field. what surprised me was that i was looking at this trade as a profession for the first time......All this while a hawker for me was someone who would be wondering in the trains calling out for their goods. and sometimes even looked upon with suspision .I failed to realise that even these people have families back home ......... have children who also have dreams to make it big.......who dreams that their daughter find a good groom....... my dada even had pension plans. I was really brought down to the harsh realities of life..... and to think of our past by gone days when his parents were there what a cushioned life he led......not a worry ........those were the peaceful days.......those days when we use to all sit around in the late afternoon sun in the bitter cold months of january and play chinese checkers......the day he got a doll for me .... which i still have till date.....was he ....could he have been the same person ????? . He stayed with us for a couple of days......and then left for kolkatta where he stays with his family. As i saw him off ,I stood there till his shadow disappeared..... wondering when will we ever meet again....... What ever his chosen profession is .... he is and will always be my brother....the bond we shared will never change........I can only say a silent prayer for him as he goes about his daily trade.....wishing him all the best always.

A Medical Prayer.......

2008-08-12T21:08:00.000-07:00

These are lines I took from a poster given to me by a medical representative friend..... I loved these wordings so much because it actually speaks what we doctors irrespective of which ever departments we belong to at some point of our lifes really feel while we treat our patients.......I qoute here......

"It is indeed a tragedy of circumstances My Lord,
that my livelihood involves meeting people with unbearable pain,
but also it is my good fortune the You have given me this excellent opportunity to
mitigate their sufferings and thus atone for whatever selfish interest I might have.
You have cast upon my shoulders this great responsibility and have given me dexterity to
do it.
Please grant me the strength , My God, to enable me to fulfil this task in all earnestness.
And yet , all the while , let me not ever forget that ultimately it is You , who is the real
great Healer and the Fountainhead of well being and that , I am merely a medium through
which your benovelence flows,
Oh, My Lord, bestow upon my patients thy healing touch........"

Sun Set .........

2008-07-25T05:50:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of the setting sun I took a couple of days back from our balcony. The sky looked so beautiful that I simply had to capture it on my cam and share it here.The evening sky looked as if Mother Nature decided to paint it herself.....the different shades of greys and oranges ....is it possible to get such vibrant colours from the man made paints we get in the market????? Well should ask Mr. M.F.Hussian about it.

nituscorner: life is a journey

2008-07-25T05:35:00.000-07:00

nituscorner: life is a journey

A Salute......

2008-07-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of things that we take for granted in life, comfort is one of them. So when I got married to a uniform man I was spoilt to no ends right from the start so much so that I forgot that the security aids we have with us at home are the same soldiers who guard our country. As the years rolled by my husband was posted to many different places and each new place brought in new experiences. By then we were blessed with a lovely baby and my little one started travelling when he was barely 5 months.
During this time our posting was in one of the very difficult areas. I saw what life was like for a soldier when I went over in one such visits. Every morning my husband would brief his men before they left for their duties and each briefing would be like d last briefing as if there was no tomorrow. I looked into each soldier's face and wondered what each one of them must be thinking as they leave their temporary abode. All had families back home.... many had pregnant wives and lived with the hope that next time he went home he would see an additional member in the family......while some had ailing parents who had all their hopes pinned on their sons. Every one would leave the camp thinking that may be it was the last time they were seeing their friend's face or many be it was the last supper they were sharing together. Their blank faces hid the mental agony.
During my short stay , not a single evening passed when dinner could be taken peacefully. Even a tyre puncture in the distant night brought my husband and his men to take positions. Our suitcases were kept always packed. Every night I went to bed thinking whether I would be getting up in the same place in the morning . My husband escaped an ambush several times by God's grace. Not every one can get so lucky.
Security was becoming claustrophobic for me. Many a times we had to change plans in the last moment for security reasons. Even a brief visit to a friend's place had to be planned very discreetly and when i finally did manage to go I had five vehicles following me. So much so that I could not sit with her for more than half an hour thinking that while I had come for a pleasure trip , another five vehicles were on duty. We were always living on the edge.
The only person who was blissfully unaware of his surroundings was our five month old son who played when his moods allowed him and cried when he demanded attention.
Days passed off and before I knew it it was time for me to come back but i didnot know when. I was asked to be ready both mentally and with my baggage. Any time my flight tickets would come and I would be sent home.
Can't say that Iwas not happy though I felt guilty instantly. Apart from leaving behind my husband I thought of all the soldiers who were always on the fore front working towards a safe and secure India. They are the back bone of a force representing millions of people in India. The hardships that they have to go through is nothing compared to the mental tension they have to go through living away from their families and a life so unsure.
They are the brave Messiah of God whom we really need to salute for doing such a thankless and selfless job.
I came back a changed person. It taught me not to take things for granted in life.Today my husband has hung his uniform but looking back our whole tenure in the armed forces, it was an experience Iwould not forget in my life time. And I take this opportunity to salute all the men in uniform in what ever rank they are .....where ever they are because they are the actual heros of our country. Jai Hind.